love, actually

the past few days.

firstly, i loved all the little presents received! (:

met up with Tings,
favourite girls and we know some things don't change.
(p.s don't be mad with mom anymore, we'll see you next week! and thanks for lovelyyy wallet :D)

she pulled me and i stayed,
making a mental note i always would.


been seeing Steph almost everyday
HAHA
girl i love you larhh.
(p.s don't be mad that i'm still online and not at your house though i'm an hour late and i bet you're still sleeping!)


ooh. yesterday was ultimate shopping day..
sales everywhere!
Levi's, esp, was a steal.
hehe.

Gemma Ward's gracing the covers of TeenVogue.
whee.
very eye candy. haha.


btw, i'm sorry that i suck in verbal communication.
hahah.
i think it was quite amusing.
but thanks for..i dont know. haha. but,
thank you.
(:


never underestimate the power of a mobile phone.
it truly connects people
you can talk to a few people when you're with one person.
but sometimes the multitasking gets too much (when different people have different problems and it all gets a bit mind boggling) and i feel like i'm split into a few pieces, haha.
but still, i think it's the best invention! after air conditioners. haha.
but anyway, thanks to those who were probably split into a few pieces as well and had a piece of them with me..


and never overestimate 'value for money'.
a 6 bucks pencil can disintegrate faster than one that costs 2. >:c

okay i'm being really random. haha.


alright, my random entry is growing out of hand and Steph's gonna kill me for being ultra late. cutting hair (wish me luck!! imagine how jinxed it would be if i had a bad haircut just before New Year :| KeKe, i put myself in your hands! haha!) and meeting the sec2 people later on..

i'm hope i'm gonna have a mellow New Year's just the way i like it..
(can't believe '05 is over! i feel like it's only been 6 months)


Happy New Year's, all! may the next year be a good one.. (:
don't forget resolutions.

'best'

sleighbells ring, are you list'nin?
in the lane snow is glist'nin
a beautiful sight
we're happy tonight
walkin' in a winter wonderland

gone away is the bluebird
here to stay is the new bird
he sings a love song
as we go along
walkin' in a winter wonderland

Dinner At the Money Table

23rd - Yins + bf's bbq @ his place / Falala @ Indochine
was sucky for me.
really don't wanna talk about it..
so Sabrina Wee, pls do not remind me of Mr. Violent..
my goosebumps surface and my hairs stand.
was really upset. rawr. :c
butttt other than some stuff
guess it was quite fun.
i do realise i like dancing with Freda Kwok (:

anws, the bbq was alright..
thanks for the effort, Yins! (:



24th - CityHarvest
ER. i have nothing to say.
okay i have a stomach-full of words to sprout
but guess it's not suitable to be published so..
anyway i would have talked to close friends about it so it doesn't matter.
-
saw Very. Lovely. Furla wallet.
anyway, thank you thank you thank you for coming, it meant a lot to me, and to Steph too (:



25th - Lunch w Sab + Ree @ CoffeeClub / Dinner @ Steph's
caught up with the girls, FINALLYfinally i'm seeing the both of them together..
and i do like talking to Sabrina Wee
Ree the poor girl had to return back to work promptly after her one-hour lunch break was over :had a mellow and very lovely time at the Cheong's HAHA
Phi's dad whooped up some dish and we had red wine (eugh! we prefer Choya! Choya rocks!)
ahem, and of course, Christmas wouldn't have been complete without Love Actually.
love love love the show.
sigh. (:
and of course a trip to her house would have been empty
without LB :D dunzo. hahah.
STEPH! wldnt have great times / managed my little ordeals without you.
merry little Christmas my favourite manicurist in the world (:


and an edited quote from LB
\ what happens in the club stays in the club.



as you can see
i'm doing the list-my-deeds typical entry
cos i feel like i haven't done so in a long time!


i don't want a lot for Christmas,
there is just one thing i need..

just because it's Christmas,
(and on Christmas you tell the truth)..
to me, you are perfect
and my wasted heart will love you

(special request by StephCheong)

im waiting for the sky to fall
im waiting for a sign.

whateverrrrrr.

return of Tings!
<333333
fab day despite.
:D welcome backk, sweets!!




ignore my lian hair pls. was waiting for it to dry. me and Steph!! (:



now pls kindly ignore me looking psychotic in messy pinned up hair. the star : Megan the cutiepie in my arms! we love furball! ((:

\ enlarge-able.

Letter From An Occupant

thanks for
not-so-surprising surprise, guys (:
and c, pretty kit was ah, prettyyy. haha.

ate too much choc (but thanks for moose, jyingz,
watched too much tv (friends! 5 popcorns for its aww-worthy content. Elizabethtown..2.5 popcorns for its extreme randomness and being a letdown..)



Daydreaming, been sitting, the corner cafe

all the small things

i just want to say
that my blog content sometimes,
shouldnt be taken seriously
cos not every word mean something..
some are just really random song lyrics/ phrases that i feel like linking up
so blind guesses and conclusions jumped are much unappreciated, thank you very much.

ohkay.
that aside,
been missing people.

i want to ask what happened?
but i guess we know better.
i just hope i still have a place
and when youre back things will get better, don't you? (:
i hope you know im talking about you.
you know i'll always care/ love you,
i didn't move on,
you're always a part in my life.
(AWW totally cheeseball :)

today, i
just realised why i prefer iced water to normal water (distinctly different taste!)
watched Aeonflux (2.5 popcorns)
did 5 math questions (first attempt to study since promos ended omgg)
walked around so much (training ah haha)
found how to deal with my BAD haircut (hope it's fine, urgh. hate it when these things happen)
recieved another birthday present (very sweet la.)
was on speed dial for an almost dying friend (okay total exaggeration)
was make up artist again (you're welcome)
ate and ate (but walked and walked!)
am happy.

yesterday, i
went to the mango sale (omgness those people nvr see clothes before?!?)
but spent all my money on m)phosis stuff instead (my other cheap alternative clothing line! mango sizes no longer fit me. it's like zara! sad to say.)
got pissed, annoyed, hurt but then amused, and touched after.
had a good talk over Coffeebean salad and choc (therapeutic!)

sometimes people surprise you
by showing you they care at times when you least expect them too.
so hey Sab,
thanks (:* (i know you'd think the * is gross. IT'S A FLOWER! CUTE OHKAY.)

alright. photos! (yes they are mostly posted on da's blog alr but i dnt care! haha)



the sign dinah painstakingly did for me outside my house and me posing retardedly next to it | us in the bedroom with da's purple design (:



us on King Kong's palm!
(as always, click to englarge)

<3

song of the day!
dashboard conf.; so impossible
I'm dying to know
do you do you like dreaming of things
so impossible or only the practical
or ever the wild or waiting through all your bad bad days
just to end them with
someone you care about
or do you like making out
and long drives and brown eyes
and guys that just
don't quite fit in
yeah do you like them


phi! wo hao xiang ni wo! HAHA.
dinah wong! im (: for you.

now i know what sort of friends stay in your life,
the kind who will always be there and let you know that,
and those who don't let you know, but always worth your waiting for them to.

be the girl

alrightyyy
overall seventeenth was fabfabfab,
thanks for all the calls, sms texts (be it at 11:58p.m or 12:00a.m, or days late), emails, blog entries, tags, friendster testimonials (though i scarcely use friendster..) etc, be it jolted by good ol' memory or friendster birthday reminders or what not, all the smileys made my day. made my days, actually.

+many double takes peeping through the eyehole of my door, hahah.

Ree and Sab dropped by and gave me a surprise at 11ish when i just reached sunny Singapore ((: was over the moon to see my friends! the Msia trip was pretty fucked up. Anyhows, thanks, guys! for the oreo cheesecake, book, and Borders gift card..Ree was being a Dirty little bitch but you are forgiven (:

then Da, Dinah and Mina totally shocked me the following day with a little Happy Birthday sign with balloons outside my house and a tiny strawberry cake. sweet. ((: and sorry for being so predictably late (i paid my price! was caught in my pink nightdress :\) tsktsk many other people were secretly in cahoots in this affair hahah. we ate @ The Balcony and then had our favourite DQ ice cream! (:

am totally touched and exploding in happiness though perhaps concealed by my extreme fatigue thank you thank you, people (:

and just now,
was over at the Phi's
the disgusting girl has now transferred her love from Feifei to Keke
how gross and disloyal but at least Keke did some wonders..Feifei was a letdown! losing his golden touch! hoho.
had a fantabulous time! lb, french manicures, dar williams (for you) chantal kreviazuk (for me), moackable nightpants, packing for 4 days/mths, panda eyes, healthy+frugal meals, Moments..even waiting for the bus Under No Roof proved therapeutic! ahh i <3 you! but i forgot to snoop around for my presents cos you were -GASP awake before i was!?!


anyways decided im far over and under the Msia trip
so shan't bother with the details.
lazy and redundant.

What's this life anyway
What's it to you and me
What's it to anyone
Who are we supposed to be
Make me a storybook
Write me away from here
I need a different now

There's four roads to anywhere
Four ways to everything
We were unbreakable

Where we can wear each other for awhile
I'll lend you my tears if I could borrow a smile
I'll get through tomorrow somehow today
Happy After..

Once upon these days

the take on sensitivity is perhaps
over for my case and
under for you.

-

pictures up another day!

-

swear to secrecy?
bull.

mister weatherbee

wish i could be
everything i (and everyone else) wanted me to be.

steph thanks, phi..dont know what i'd do without. (: btw cldnt read your prev msges! wht you tagged in my tagboard's all gone :c LOVE.

will update abt msia trip and birthday soon when im in the mood..
but in advance,
thanks to those who bothered! i've never felt so smiley (:

the milk song

yes Da, you were right -points at blog title. haha

had frugal dinner at amk and watched the very gruesome and sadistic Saw at the Dsf's with SSS (yes we are pretty slow)
yikes! freaking cringe-y and wince-y movie.
but shit smart too.
aye let's watch the Saw II together?? :D
(+Zhongguo town and Balcony 13th k)

speaking of which,
my one day Msia trip is constantly burgeoning..
it has suddenly blossomed into a five day get-away
Genting and KL, i'll be at.
and it SOMEHOW just managed to eat into my birthday.

how..lovely.

on the 12th i'll be blowing 17 candles in the middle of Truly Asia Malaysiaaaa.
(insert dancing birthday hats)

and that is why,
my dear C, you guys can't have primetime 12th..
grr. so i guess whenever will be fine yes.
i told you what happens at my birthday every year :c
not any better this year.
SIGHH.
well was nice meeting you and the Moor for the few minutes
i dont knw wht else you wanted to do at 1130pm at amk mrt station,
but i wanted to go home and take out my contacts hahah.
ANYWAYS did your little sweetandhilarious story spark off any second takers? HAHAH :D
see you darling. maybe you could help me think of what to do about my pathetic seventeenth. <33

can't wait to cut my hair tmrw!
my hair has an uncanny ability to annoy me once it reaches a certain length.
it grows wavy and disgusting.
PHI!
so much for our study plans..
just when we were getting into it (planning Study Sleepover timetable??!?!)
what were we doing all Novemeber?!?!?
sighh. shall cheer up after some LagunaBeach and OC tmrw.
maybe we'll catch some rays and bubble in some warmth
and study a little after my haircut :\ (is that even possible?? i gtg early evening to pack..)
and yes, i guess we wont be able to squeeze in birthday lunch / tea before Sq leaves.
UGH.

so much for getting in better shape by trying out Yoga (Ree's Amore thingy has already expired)
so much for getting in better shape for my academics (DID NOT TOUCH ANYTHING AT ALL except to copy some notes which i totally couldn't even comprehend)
so much for internship/ being employed (other than tutoring on Sundays which is something im not even sure im holding on to at this moment)

ah, procrastination is the evil of all success.
i feel like i hardly did anything this hols and it is beginning to peeve me out.
hate being unproductive but what have i morphed into!??!
a full-time slug/ stoner.

does anyone sense my annoyance here??
i do hope it'll be a jolly trip
and not angst-ridden with secret rolling of eyes.
though i am every inch the Family Girl Awardee (second to Dinah) but you know how friction occurs when there's more time to be often rubbed together..

on the brighter side,
i made two of my christmas presents!
wheeeee.
i think this year's presents are the best!
cos im making part of it!
hope people who're recieving them will appreciate! (: they'd better! only giving a bit more than 10 people so it goes to show they really matter to me AH. ha ha!)

hrmm. maybe when i'm back i'll sort out some stuff
AND dedicate the last few days to get down to having some work done
and enjoy Tings' return + parties + Christmas + New Year's more guilt-free
there's a thought..

Ree! i'd like to know when will you and Sabrina Wee Yue Wen BOTH be finally free..but anyways i have proclaimed the top i bought with you as Birthday Top! haha. MISS YOU. (read about your shopping tonardo..you better save some of it when im back)

rightt.
gotta be seated in front of Steph's computer by 10am tmrw :\ (why are we lying to ourselves)
off i go!
take care, all.

p.s the disappearance of Huang Wei Ting is mysterious and inabilities to carry out investigation has led to sadness. misses.

p.p.s i want JayZZ's Lang Man Shou Ji nownowNOW! somebody send me! :c

ghost of a good thing

playing with a 6 year old for an hour odd + swinging really high (!) + lagunabeach for hours = wooziness + totally worn out.

hahah

I guess it's luck but it's the same
Hard luck you've been trying to tame

rightt. @ Steph's. swinging by forum for some guilt-free Classics!

everytime he held you close
yea were you thinking of me


today is arts and crafts day
i brought my miserable materials and pretended i didnt craft any intention to steal green paint, yellow paint, brushes (yea right..we painted with TOOTHBRUSHES ah HAHA), toothpick, white glue (turns transparent did you know??), newspaper.. paler paler! HAHA

okay lazy to elaborate what else i sneakily didnt bring.

nicenice (: except maybe my ah-soh ness and wittyness was too much to bear haha

and Strange Awakenings, which i shall not elaborate either..
ohkay this is a lazy entry..
shouldn't have bothered..

did i mention i had this terrible food poisoning (shoulder of responsibility unacclaimed and unidentified but suspiciously, from a certain shop, a slice of FREE yummy oreo cheesecake, that worked its devil beneath its creamy shade of delish innocence!!) that still haunts my tortured stomach till this day! >:c

i finally done up a new playlist for the poddie! (yes it includes Jayzz so sue me :)
was getting so bored of the old one..
and i think im getting too attached to the mini..
but how do you shower love on an object?!
it's as unexplainable as having a favourite stuffed toy..
a burning question since i grew out of my best friend Scruffles (my 'pet' dog..i talked..okay and sometimes cried..to?!?!)
(disclaimer: my real best friend was a living and breathing bitchy raggedy ann doll who broke my heart every minute she wasnt making me smile..)

you know they say if you love someone
you tell him/her everything that's on your mind,
share your joys/woes first thing,
will never get sick of him/her,
you'll set them free even if it means leaving him/her,
blahblah,
but doesn't that sound perfect
and we all know love is anything but.
maybe what we think is right doesn't actually counter for anything.
maybe it's just made-up,
cos some dumbass said so
and we're all nodding solenly in agreement.
or maybe it's just me and my excuses..
for everything and nothing
ohmyy what am i talking aboutt!

i finally made my 11:11 wish!
this reminds me of Da..i can imagine her checking her cell and seeing that it's 11:11, mumble to herself and make a wish
HAHAH. did you, kwokiegurl??


but i know,
it's over before it even began.


i havent had a long + incoherent entry in a long time!
i used to do this when im feeling okay and in the mood to be crappy
(maybe i should stop talking to anyone/ reading/ seeing/ thinking about anythingso this stays)
if you compare, it'll contrast
the present and the past.

rightt. i need to stop rambling soon..

TINGS omg i miss you. HURRY SCUTTLE OVER! how was econs anyway? (i need to mention how psychotic your sch is for the umpteenth time to cover BOTH micro and macro within ths short expanse of time and everything?!?! disgusting + erpi!!)

ohkay. this reminds me..
i NEED to start studying soon
gotta gear myself for the formidable terror i shall embark when..
im done with feeling mortified of returning to the books (too late though..heard some already started early last month OMGGGG)
:c

like always, i'll just hibernate in my little hole till it's my cue.

when i needed you the most
yea i hope you are happy
\ the all american rejects

i'll give you my hand
if you reach out and grab it

Over the sea and far away
She's waiting like an Iceberg
Waiting to change,
But she's cold inside
She wants to be like
the water,

All the muscles tighten in her face
Buries her soul in one embrace
They're one and the same
Just like water

Then the fire fades away
But most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're the other side of the world
to me

On comes the panic light
Holding on with fingers
and feelings alike
But the time has come
To move along (??)

i wish you tried.

i need some good ol' laugh-till-my-tummy-hurts sort of fun.
havent had it in ages.
maybe that's all i need for christmas.

and then if you can remember

inner neat freak kicks in and before i know it,
spent the day reorganising stuff strewn about,
rediscovering Lancome Juicy Tubes,
unveiling and re-burying past letters and gifts
+years of vday presents = evidence of being a St. Nicholas girl! (:
blobs and splashes of pinks-and-reds.

missmissmiss the combined forces of open ultra girly-ness/ easy heart-to-hearts and conferences/ crazy holiday ideas.
time and time again,
i'm asking myself
do they have to go away?

took me a year to realise secondary years are really over.

Ever so sweet,
You make this seem,
The way things go..
It's not my fault.
And I'll miss,
I'll miss you so good..
All of those nights,
We lost our way back home

and so, to you..
And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned
I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you

And if I should ever go away
Well, then close your eyes and try to feel
The way we do today
And then if you can remember

hope you know you're still the best i ever had.
-

Ys ash; starcrossed (:
& msn 7.5! (yes im wols..)

off for dinner out.

\ tings ! hehe you called me again is it? i was looking at shuwei's blog (as usual, trying to track you down haha) and i suddenly miss you!!!! hurry come back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:c can't wait!!!!

many firsts

Sleeping awake and awake when I'm sleeping
I've got a dry kind of thirst, when drenched
On sunny days, all I can see is a shadow
And I'm not above being under

And I'm at the brink though I know that I'm empty
And I always hide when it's my turn to seek
My only belief is not to have faith in believing
Before I begin, I'm over

Broken off again
When I'm only not lonely when I'm lonely by myself
Always backtracked forward
Cause all in all, I'm disconnected

Quietly loud while noisily silent
Keep holding my breath when I'm trying to breathe
Swimming against all of the waves and the rapids
I only win when I'm losing

I just wanna live my life sedated
Cause I love driving myself away
Dysfunctionally sane, dont give a damn
I can't comprehend what I understand


-

havent stayed in on a Saturday for a long time!
but because of mixed up plans, here i am, legs outstretched, indoors with dark clouds looming ahead outside..

13 going on 30 - 3.5 popcorns
the notebook - 4.5 popcorns
chicago - 4 popcorns
the red shoes - 2.5 popcorns
oliver twist - 3 popcorns
just like heaven - 3.5 popcorns
prime - 4 popcorns ! (believe it or not)

i conclude that staying out or in too much just doesn't do my system any good
i get irritable, quiet, depressed or stony.
yea, maybe i'm weird but it's good to
strike a balance!
i feel better already.!

mom's cooking on a Saturday and i'm eating in! (:
feel the lurveee
hee.
rightt. before i get overly chirpy.

/ tings girlllll..check your mail! misses <3333
steph how i know..i cldnt believe jayzz had a song abt fruit tree soursop too whattt..can't wait for ep05!!

sun dippin'

yay! new layout again!
fickle ol' me.
haha.
anyway my summersmile looks so odd! can anyone help me fix that?
-eyes jyingzz hopefully
hahah

so anywayy
went tanning w Phi (:
i crown today the most productive tanning sesh ever!
yes, to the extent that i blacked out for a while
HAHA
freakyyyy.
Stocks thanks for taking care of me! and everything else <333
(i'm Ms. Papillio!) Notebook soon!

charm pls do take care! and i don't care, i know you're wearing long dresses!

**this post is posted merely to push the previous queer post down haha.

no hero in her sky.

haagen dazs, apple tea (with milk), endless walks around river (and bars belting out karaoke hits), thai dishes, chitchats .. (: <3 c.

da it IS like saying Paris Hilton is fat. and it IS killing me.

have you ever felt like..
okay i really shouldnt even bother trying.
it's so frustrating though.

you know, like you have a world of words revolving but for some uncanny reason, you're dumb and the words are just stringing around your mouth in silence and all the pent up frustration is building up and you're at the edge of bursting but you can't do anything cos you're..dumb.

okay am i making sense?
and yes, handicapped situation occurs to some people..
why of all people, with you?
it's never right.

and steph, it will NEVER, EVER, happen, cos how do you find such an amazing person that links you up and at the same time perks you over?? it's impossible. it's logic defying. and stop ordering Mac's at 12:47A.M! TSKK! but i want shaker fries too ):

dinah, WHAT'S WRONG WITH MSN 6.0!

hey ladies drop it down ; says:
dynamic wallpaper is damn fun. the things can move and i like talking to you cos the wallpaper makes me happy

how could you..!
but i like talking to you too
and it's NOT cos the wallpaper makes me happy!
it's cos..you're getting it.
THANKS! i was so urghhhhh.

-

GRR!
>:Z


it's ebbing away, we're running out of gas.


im freezing.
AND WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY TAGBOARD?!
i would love to make it right..if only i knew how.!
grr!

candy and collagen @ isetan

haha okay i kinda like this layout so i shall just leave it alone for a while
though its highly claustrophic and a tad depressing as compared to my previous quirky one..

and its the first time i ripped it off someone else!

hrmm. is there sth wrong with my tagboard? why are the words in the box white suddenly?! grr.

okay anyway its been really rainy
nice to sleep in (:

so sorry tings! hahah been sleeping through all your calls! haha nissin tom yam is an essential yes. shouldve sent more over..anyway how many weeks more?!?

though this weather is just impossible to tan in
shall live with winter whiteness then..

phi, so much for TT :
ree glad your first day went well! :D

some eye candy..




In the car, I just can't wait
To pick you up on our very first date
Is it cool if I hold your hand?
Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?
Do you like my stupid hair?
Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?
I'm just scared of what you think.
You make me nervous so I really can't eat

When you smile, I melt inside
I'm not worthy for a minute of your time
I really wish it was only me and you
I'm jealous of everybody in the room
Please dont look at me with those eyes
Please dont hint that your capable of lies
I dread the thought of our very first kiss
A target that I'm probably gonna miss

cute (:

right, am off! meeting charmgal00 ltr, hoho (:

-

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

looking for a little sweetness

Lately I can't be happy for no one
They think I need some time to myself
I try to smile but I can't remember
And I know tomorrow there'll be nothing else

incomprehensively so.
must be the pms.

nothing is fair,
-nods.

please can you tell me,
so i can finally see

rediscovering michelle branch, haha.


irajgiojadjgktr.


tings SO SORRY. was tutoring when you called jst now..how many weeks again..? ):

sick cycle carousel

PHI,
TT please !
and RR ?
and THANKS for everything, you're the sweeeetesttt. :D


so this is where inferiority seeps in through the cracks and crevices where insecurity seeps through
wave goodbye to silly grins.
it wontttt go away..


poor poddie has died ):
accidentally plopped into the sauna..sighhh.
hope the apple people won't discover how i mistreated my poddie and replace one for me


well.
-bares fangs.
moody.

the killers ; all these things i have done

I MISS ST NICKSSSSS !!
sigh.
met the others today..
maybe it was hardly palpable to the rest,
but i felt really warm inside (:
awww.

yins, thanks for the nice little talk
and the photo taking sesh
and dinah mr sijia, TENNIS MATCH was WOOHOO huh :D
hahah.
okay we were jst bouncing the ball to each other
and they laughed at my lousy ball sense!
but! i improved with time!
and yins was busy knitting away hahah so cute please.


and and
i feel really awful
but i dont know what to say..
helpless at the sidelines, yes.
sorry in advance :

p/s. jacob liaw sucks. HAH.

and so it is.

ree. says:
i cant wait!
-zooms off to shit

HAHA.
<3

(please don't kill me)


i watched the Tang Quartet today!
not exactly an enthusiast in this genre..
butttttt
was quite nice (:

clarke quay coffeeshops seem yummyyy
must go explore one day
(and not get lost)

Friends is just too sweeeeeet..
when Chandler proposed to Monica (though i would say they proposed to each other)
was ohmygod.
the portrayal of close-knit friends
being there when it happened, being there when it didnt happen,
happened because of them, didnt happen because of them
just basically through everything!
it gets you crying and laughing.


tings something wrong with the connections just now! phone kept hanging when you called and couldnt asnwer! :( sorry girlll. anyway haunted elizabeth sounds good enough, misssssssssss you.


it's never enough.

i just wanna sit and stare at you

YAY today's uber happy day with Phi
our retail therapy days (:
everything came in a pair and caused a headache, haha
almost stuffed a dress in a coat so that other people won't see it HAHA

anyway stephcheong your WB and matchboxtwenty+iris cool dude is too much
PLUS your airpork?!?!??!
why my class dont have!
hoho ;)

ystd watched Em Rose!
different angle / take from the Exorcist..
more meaningful, i'd say..
err then played awfulbadlousyihate pool
haha

dinah, i hope your dad's fine.. (:

random, but
don't you just hate it when drivers honk at you??
the green man was shining, obviously i have the right to cross
and the driver had the nerve to mid-swerve and honk at me cos i was in his way while i was happily messaging
and and at another occasion, another driver honked when i was crossing the zebra crossing at a perfectly normal pace!
what the hell..people need to be more patient.
and we thought safety was paramount.



okay another lame quizzzzz.

1. The road represents your attitude towards falling in love.

You chose the short road--you fall in love quickly and easily.

2. The number of red roses represents how much you give in a
relationship, while the number of white represents what you
expect in return.

You give 10% and expect 90% in return.

3. This question represents your attitude towards handling
relationship problems.

You like to get the person yourself--you are a more direct
person and like to work out problems immediately.

4. The placement of the roses determines how much you like to see
your boy/girlfriend.

You want to place the roses on the bed--you like to see him/her
a lot.

5. This represents your attitude towards his/her personality.

You prefer the person to be asleep--you love the person as the
way s/he is.

6. The road to home tells how long you stay in love with someone.

You chose the longer road--you will tend to stay in love for
a long time.


OH. ALMOST FORGOT..
the stupidsweetie is deeply missed (and yins+qing too! :)
dont secretly..openly tag me please! tskk!
<3

move along

tings missed you, girlll. am back to reading Someone Like You. remember Halley and Macon Faulkner? :)


gorged YUMMY longtong and nasi lemak and endless chilli tapioca and sweet cornflakes at Mat's (we all had like, 3 helpings)
then lazed around, took overly-formal pics..
we're all growing fattt.

getting unhigh on 4% and 5% lime and ice hahah.
first half was good
food facts found in magazines very enlightening !
but i forgot all about what i learnt, haha (and jyingz, what was it that you wanted?!?!? brilliant plan to con me very unbrilliant indeed..)
sitting around at Border's Children Designated Seating Area = wheeee-ness.

so we're looking at two toysrus employees
deer's ears on head and zooming around the store in under-sized toy car (not fighting with kids over bears pls!)
heels for 3 days = killer !
Tom Yam at good ol' Bishan with Ree was nice :) (did you know newly-renovated Bishan MRT station has huge built-in Guardian?!?)

Christmas lights in town are just fab. puts you in the mood! though a tad too red..where's the green? maybe Christmas could be blue-and-silver..

people generally are..i dont really get it.
can't read you,
at least know that we tried.
so i'll just..stay out of the way.

off to meet the Chanmalis soon
toodles'

outline of a storyboard

yesyes, lame things i do in the middle of the night..morning (??) in the midst of watching oc season 3, hahah. so far it's been really good..touching, even at the first episode! favourite season so far among all three!

You Can Hang With the Guys and the Girls

You've struck a good balance between girlie and laid back. You can keep it casual but when you dress up, you are as girly as the next girl.

How Girlie Are You?

Your Reputation Is: Shy Girl

You've done pretty well in keeping your reputation protected.. Problem is, no one really knows who you are!

What's Your Reputation?

ER. OHKAY.

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds. You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life. Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

Your Fashion Style is Classic

You like what's stood the test of time... Simple, well styled clothes that don't scream trendy You stay updated and modern, but your clothes stay in style for a while You wouldn't be caught in animal prints, fake fur, or super bright colors

What's Your Fashion Style?

okay..this lame activity has to end..back to oc..
toodles'

it takes courage

moving on to mildly related topics,
would you smile, or would you frown?

okay trigger point slightly too gargantuan..

hum-drum.. then, struck

stumbled upon, gained access to and was privy to a slice of my certain friend's innermost being..
and gasp,
there is so much more,
so much more.
(extreme, and not negligibly sparse)
i was just there, you know?

i cant believe i didnt know.

all the mind boggling questions,
but it's dawned upon me that all that doesn't matter.
the annonymity, the facade (deliberate or otherwise), the sworn secrecy (or maybe just coincidental failure to resurface), really doesn't matter.

i've learnt that
staying true to yourself sometimes,
is really really all that matters.
im proud of, and glad for you (:
now i know what the answer is, no matter what people say.

(..but generally, is it spontaneous ability met with stifled expressionism? maybe being upfront just doesn't do any good. but does everything have to benefit? here we are, blessed with the gift to do so, but its impossiblity questions the very existence of it at all. okay i shall not digress..okay this public incoherent monologue sesh has to end before any more quizzical eyebrows are raised..)


okay randomly,
yz! jiang! anybody! i want JayZZ! (secret, still. haha)

If I told you a secret
You won't tell a soul
Will you hold it and
Keep it alive

Cause it's burning a hole
And I can't get to sleep
And I can't live alone
In this life

So look up, take it away
Don't look down
The mountain

If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return
Anyone, anything, anyhow

So take me, don't leave me
Take me, don't leave me
Baby, love will come through
It's just waiting for you

And you stand at the crossroads
Of highroads and lowroads
And I've got a feeling
It's right

If it's real what I'm feeling
There's no make believing
The sound of the wings
Of the flight

Of a dove, take it away
Don't look down
The mountain

If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return
Anyone, anything, anyhow

So take me, don't leave me
Take me, don't leave me
Baby, love will come through
It's just waiting for you


L word was very 4 popcorns! minus the porn at some extreme points..
out today with Ree
bakin' boys was ..!!
marshemllow + melt-in-your-mouth chocolate = double joyyyyyy.
swore my face was ballooning and now its too round for my own good! :c
anyway
anyone has ingram hill's more than a feeling send to me please?

teehee

a lil late but, here's us, at sammiekin's bday long ago, and also in school.. (:
most of the pictures look really strange cos of resizing but what the hell haha



jiang doing some strange things to me (i had a balloon stuck in my blouse..pretending to be pregnant!) | happiness at dontknwwhat | me+charm at coffeebean (pre-promos mugging days!) | sam me jiang charm | everybody at sam's bday | attempt of a gay shot with poor sam



line of bright lights | cuteeee sam bombarded with balloons! | charm me nette with c's board for sam | me grinning happily (jiang made me put the balloons on) | again, yz and i with the coloured blobs | L.O.V.E



sparkled us | charm me nette jiang (they bluffed me! supposed to do retarded face) | aww conjoined hearts, me and nette. L.O.V.E | twirling in the sparkles.


-


and my gbk's gone cos it was wayyy too sec3 and embarassing but signmyguestbook still hates me and i couldnt sign in at all so i got a .. tagboard! so tagtagtag me!

rightt am off to get ready and meet the others..

happenstance


THREE RANDOM FACTS BY ME

3. the new bathing foam mom bought smells really nice but i wonder what is goat milk doing in it?
2. best friends can telepathy each other..maybe you can teleport over?
1. i realise its rachael yamagata and not rachel! and the album is the prettiest ive ever seen..so i HAD to buy it (plus it was on sale)



TWO RANDOM FACTS BY MY MOM

2. talking on my mobile for 2 hours odd can cause brain cancer or a burst a blood vessel
1. my hair is growing thick and bushy, i ought to go cut hair with her (this is coming from the same woman who could not tell the difference when i went from all-pulled-back neatness to kid with bangs)



ONE RANDOM FACT BY THE SICK ONE

1. a 39 degree fever in the middle of the night can cause death in one's sleep! :O

that this was not your dream,
but you've always believed in me

im oh-so smart..
left my specs at nana's place
and one side of my contacts tore while it was in my eye (?!?!)
so now im half-blind 24/7
hanging on to what's left of my vision..haha

anywayy
i second dinah,
newsroom was funnn!
though the music was reallyyyyy bad.
and so squashed up, there was a point where we couldnt move at all.
but getting high makes you so unaware.

with empty stomach,
went to nana's place..
we were all just croaking about. (charm's croaks were the worst. thou shalt ne'er mock my manly voice at night anymore!)
washed my hair thrice to get the smoke out.
and to think that sabrina wee wanted to sleep in!
:
watched Closer..
was really good!
dedicate 4 popcorns for its emo-ness..
then had a slight tan..
weather was good,
perfect to laze around in and talk aimlessly..


what is it with all the emotions..
its insecurity i cant stand
but i am insecure myself.


and i know i dont feel it now
but it will sink in,
only a matter of time.


oh, and..
please stop being so smug.
that was all so yesterday..
stop it already..
i look at you now and wonder what was it then,
cos now i see nothing.

we're running out of gas

shooting stars are not stars at all. they're just rocks that enter the atmosphere and catch fire under friction. what we wish on, when we see one, is only a trail of debris.

-

"you don't have to say anything if you don't want to."

she lies down, her head pillowed against my shoulder. every second, another streak of silver glows: parentheses, exclamation points, commas - a whole grammar made of light, for words too hard to speak.

-my sister's keeper. jodi picoulti.



-


sort of hibernating
i think sometimes i need that..
wonder how people go for endless parties and not grow weary.
but then again,
thats just me.


anyways.
eternal throb in my head!
it only occurs repetitively every afternoon.
cant blame it on math since i have officially left my brains to disintegrate ever since promos..


how now brown cow..
should i quit my job as a tutor..??
i wont be employed and be part of the paycheck-recieving working population to contribute to the economy! (though im aware that my measly pay hardly counts for anything but still.!)

i think i might miss the kids..
esp the 8 year old! (yesyes my favourite friend ah. haha)
though she sometimes cooks up fictatious comments like 'teacher i like your smile cos you look like a baby' :\ (imagine an 8 year old telling an almost 17 year old that she resembles an infant!!)
but sometimes also says the truth 'i love wendy teacher!'
and she also cries when i dont turn up or turn up later than usual..
so awww.
and how could i forget when we had such fun playing play-doh..
and when i sat there listening to her whine about how she hates her sister cos she stole her clothes, didnt let her cross the line of separation on their table.. (though i know deep down she loves her)
and how she persuaded me not her friend her classmates who pissed her off cos 'they very irritating one you know' (though i obviously dont know any of them..nor did i agree not to friend them cos in the first place, we arent even friends.! a logic she will never comprehend..)
and when she quizzed me endlessly about my boyfriend (who is, of course, non existent, but she somehow knows better than me myself and every week never fails to doodle stickmen on the whiteboard and surreptitiously scrawls 'wendy's boyfriend' on top of the spiky head of the latter..)
and..

okay so i will miss the kid.
:(
its so strange if you think about it..
never thought i'd grow fond of an 8 year old and actually be friends..


-


my train of thoughts suddenly backtracks to friday!

sometimes you just have good times with people
you dont exactly plan it but when the night falls and you find yourself walking around amongst well-lit streets (with a new buy in tow :), talking and gaining epiphany (of yourself and of the other person too) AND eating favourite one dollar ice cream (hahah), it makes me reallyyy happy.

happened a few times with different people
and the next time,
i hope it'd be with you.
but errr..
pretend i didnt say that..


-


we were such geeky thirteen year olds,
i miss all of that.
(you and your soccer socks!)

HAPPY 17TH, TINGS :D
GREATGREATGREAT year ahead,
i love you!

(details to be further recieved :)

shaded by the red

am turning into a full pledged ah ma / aunty..
first my mum said i dress like one when i attempted to look formal
then me and Da realise our eyelids are growing heavy at around 5+ cos we havent taken our afternoon naps (something we have coincidentally adopted post promos..)
and now i find myself very interested in Fullhouse..cant wait for Tings to come back and lend me! (though i dont know what on earth is she doing watching Korean drama in LA and how she laid her hands on the foreign object..)

:
goodness gracious.


anyway, pw op dry run was ohkay i guess
was a nervous wreck but gradually grew tired of waiting and it wore off
haha.


hrmm. some people, tsktsk. whyy again and again.


anyways, the discovery of the existence of infrared-ing and developing photos was amazing! though some people thought we were taking neoprints, YES..

had nice and mellow day with the Dsf,
old friends always feel good.
for some reason, i wish i was still an ij girl.

Nana also troubled Mr. Darling in another way
He sometimes had a feeling she did not admire him.
-Peter Pan


-


phi just lying aroundd on a Sunday with you's the best <3 stop deserting me with secret trips to Far East! >:| thanks for the cuteeee eraser :D my nails STILL smell of really strong nail polish!
nana THANKS for cookies ah, lucks for tmrw, The Confrontation..
TINGS haircut was :\ miss you! call me soon? (:
jyingz your call at 11pm was NOT lame at all ah..


for once, no tutoring!
hurrah!


breakfast buffet was : O
everyone had more than one helping
omgness the choc cream puff and eclair ! it just oozes out..
was blissfully contented, haha

my cousin who got married is like, 30 years old.
she looks like she's in her mid-twenties!
imagine when IM thirty!
sheeshhhh.

anywayy
had failed tanning mission 101 AGAIN
was up at Nana's rooftop, so just sat there talking
bought kitten heels (Charm! cheers, MATE :)
halloween costume plans! mighty exciting!
hope it doesnt all diminish like it always did..
dinner at Nooch w Ree was lovelyyyyyy, caught up a lil (:


-


a lil sth frm old OC eps!


Summer: The more time i spend with zach, the less times i think about ... God, what's his face? Built like a bean pole, curly hair, runs away like a little bitch on his sailboat, leaving nothing but a note for his girlfriend who cried over and over for him until the Fourth of July until she decides she doesn't cry over bitches on sailboats.
Marissa: Seth. His name. It's Seth.

Seth: Mom, I'm not feeling well today, I don't think I can go to school.
Ryan: Maybe you've gt the SUMMERf lu. Maybe you need some ANNAbiotics.

Alex: She can't fall for you if you aren't there to catch her.


:D


school tmrw.
draggg.

When you close your eyes
Do you like what you see?
Inside your mind
And do you like to dream
About the stars above?
Once in a while
Don't go to the other side
For nothing at all
Better make it worth your while
I'm gonna break down that wall
I'm gonna take the fall
Cause

Don't go to the other side
For once in a while
Once in a while


the best friend just called
she always seem to when im down and in the midst of emailing her haha
and now im happy (:

On the plane step up with both my feet,
Riding in seat number 3 on a flight to NYC,
Got my bean in a coffee cup next to my seat,
Catch the view and another good book to read,
Sending me home on the friendly skies,
Missin' her eyes,
It's always Penny and me tonight,

Cause Penny and me like to roll the windows down,
Turn the radio up, and push the pedal to the ground,
And Penny and me like to gaze at starry skies,
Close our eyes, pretend to fly,
It's always Penny and me tonight,

Staring at a million city lights,
But it's still Penny and I all alone beneath the sky,
Feel the wind brushing slowly by,
If I could soar I would try, to take these wings and fly,
Away to where the leaves turn red,
But no matter where I am instead,
Singin' along to feelin' alright,
We're makin' it by in the pink moonlight,
It's always Penny and me tonight,

Penny likes to get away,
And drown her pain, in lemonade,
And Penny Dreams Of Rainy Days,
And Nights Up Late By The Fireplace
An aimless conversations bout' the better days


reminds me of tings, (remember this?)
makes me (:

p.s i really need your address!

love, actually, is all around

hee. as you can tell, just finished watching Love Actually again,
cant wipe off that cheesy smile off my face
this one's 5 popcorns!
:)
how pretty the rows of English houses are..
very very lovely.
hrmpf. i wanna live in England too!


anyway ystd ws quite :)
a sleepy candy empire trip secretly turned into a shopping affair..got high in ArtFriend by colour pencils (a box of markers can cost 931 bucks?!?! not $9.31, nine hundred and thirty one bucks!!) and intricate lil ornament stuff..and then ltr at HMV (dyknw tht SOUNDTRACKS can cost 50 bucks for one album..seriously doubt the overpriced cds are any good to 'stealing' music online..are are they mad?!?!?) and heated discussion at yoshinoya haha
and i bumped into dadeedoo and mina (who squealed in excitement in the middle of dhoby ghaut mrt station..haha) ! haha dinah whr were you..
haha nvm, shall be seeing these 3 ltr on, (secretly hoping all will be in favour of watching Goal or Corpse Bride)
chanmalis without tings..
ohwell.
reunion in dec though! :D


and btw, TINGS, i need your add ASAP!!
hurry email me your address ! and have you found out abt the code area nonsense thing? cant figure it out yet, cant call you!
p.s miss you!


anywayy results were ohkay,
Math was just really terrible though
but Econs was a pleasant surprise haha, just really lucky
hrm, hope no one has to retain in our class.. :

Steph, Ree, Nana,
PHEW.
told you you guys would promote..!


oh, had Friends marathon earlier with Yue Wen and Lay Zheng (HAHAH pls dnt kill me)
sweeeeetness :)
errr but Ree, i really dont think Chandler is "SO CHARMING!"
maybe a little feifei thats all..hahah.


and met Don, another day too, for dinner..
disgusting encounter before he came, but nevermind..
we walked round and round and caught up a lil..
furiously moving our legs and our mouths haha
so much has been going on in cj..tskkkkkk.
cant wait to see Hwing! :)


alrightyy
am off..


//EDIT
rightt.
yea so why dont you call me or even, reply my mail when you feel like it.
welllll.
i guess 5 years will never beat 10.
this seriously sucks.
i hate wrong timings.
and myself, for letting it happen.
but i cant help it!
and maybe you just stopped bothering.
maybe i dont seem it,
but i do think about you hell a lot
and i miss you like, a lot
and i tell everyone about you
and well, im sorry im not that chatty,
or funny, for that matter.
but everything has changed.
dont you care too?

what a beautiful smile
can i stay for a while


on a scale of 5,

elephant ; 2.5 popcorns
sisterhood of the travelling pants ; 4 popcorns
matchstick men ; 3.5 popcorns
laguna beach ; 3 popcorns
thirteen ; 3 popcorns
uncut oc ; 4.5 popcorns :D
hours catching up with sabrina wheeee + choc and banana walnuts ; 101 popcorns


things to do,

clean up my bedside table reallyyyy soon..huge mess.
delete friendster account..feeling lame now holding its membership..
get ready to tannnn with phi :D ..-looks at grey sky.. :prepare myself for reviewing of all the papers tmrw..HORRORS.
tinkerbell's 17th pres :)

-


some changes are good :)
others not..

discovery of wayyyy too drastic changes, -101 popcorns.


// EDIT
so not thinking about loss of my Ms. Rock..
or at least, i know
we're on our way there..
tell me i can lean on you again.

finch ;
Can't you see that I wanna be
there with open arms
It's empty tonight and I'm all alone
Get me through this one


got a whole list of new songs
but where is the poddie?!??!?
grr.
>:c

Your Brain is 66.67% Female, 33.33% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

i wanna watch corpse's bride.!

Looking back
How did I get here?
Chasing circles
Never thought so near
I'm shaded by the red

so tonight
i realise
maybe what's right has always been wrong.
maybe it will never be right.


// tings; i miss i miss i miss you. :c

maybe thats what it takes ; alex parks

yayness,
the dreaded promos finally over!
will definitely not do well
but hoping to do ohkay..


ystd caught Into the Blue (reallyreally good ++ hot Jessica Alba constantly swimming around like a mermaid pls) with the Sporty minus busy nette..were totally drained and zombie-ish..though ice cream was yummy and random chitchatness suddenly dawned upon us..only to be replaced by sleepyness again..haha. 3hour papers are killers.

and today went shoppingggggg
:D :D
happiness!
phi iloveyou! hee. had a great great time :) (stop being so Maternity like pls! -shoots daggers at you)
LOVE/LIKE!
all the shops had really good stuff..like zara suddenly has this Out Of This World top..okay maybe just Out Of Singapore but its really..! okay but too big for me soooo..
but still, am a happy contented girl !
while everyone else is squashed up at the partyyy..


tutoring tmrw morning..
yikes.
really not looking fwd to it anymore.
despite the kids' cuteness. (only sometimes, when they arent nasty and playing fun play-doh with me haha)


grr awaiting my poddie placement AGAIN
i swear im so annoyed..
within TWO weeks my poddie's down AGAIN
i didnt even exactly drop it or anything..
its practically spanking new!
TSK.
another week and a half of music-less world.



on repeat.
lifehouse ; sick cycle carousel.
hot hot heat ; goodnight goodnight

nothing but nothing

tsk! blgoger is so down. im reduced to editing my prev post to blog..
so it really is 031005, monday today.


meals are all screwed upside down..
jyingzz says maybe im stressed without knowing..

urgh. promos suck. cnt wait for it all to be over !!
although studying at the airport is secretly woohoo hahah.
but phi just overdid it la. whoever stays over at the airport for 2 nights?? totally treating it like our homes. haha. but we're not the only ones.. apparently freaky people who stare at people unnervingly and laugh to themselves in the toilet stay over too..
spotting of the Zac lookalike!
yea butttt..haha.
no seth cohens. alrightyyy im off.


tings hello I MISS YOU please..promos driving me nuts :/ i'll buy the card to call you soon! hope all is well :) <3 you.


By the way you brought me here,
It makes believe,
the best is still yet to come,
and I don't want to leave.
Forgive my hesitation but I'm learning to trust in you.
Help me to dream these dreams
because I don't have a clue.


favourite at the moment :)
thanks, c.
oh well.


ohmy cant believe i actually entertained the thought of being itsy bitsy sad whn promos end cos i'll miss study seshs. (??!?!) psychotic. okay take care and lucks, people.


-



sweetNOTHINGS

tings there are too many songs for us! but nonetheless yknw i <3 you so and I MISS YOUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i knw..so sorry about it..call me soon?? -sends you some mittens in the falling degrees. :) the ipod nano is COOL. DEAD COOL. lucky you! wht you gonna do with greenie poddie?

Pour me some wine, join me tonight
Surround me with your happy faces
Share some fun stories, stay up all night
Surround me with your friendly faces
Life is so good when I'm with you
I needed the laughs, I needed you tonight
life is so good when I'm with you
So look at me, when I'm not aware
Then you'll see, I cannot do without you
I'll be right there, if you ask me to
If you're feeling sad, I'll stay with you
And if you're scared, I'll hold your hand
Like I know you'd do for me too.

even if i made girllllllfriends (girlyyfriends),
know that i'll still need you. shalb!



Far away, I feel your beating heart
All alone, beneathe the crystal stars
Staring into space, what a lonely face
I'll try to find my place with you

What a Beautiful smile
Can I stay for a while
On this beautiful night
We'll make everything right


cos life's like this
and not at all seth-and-summer
and we're not marissa-and-summer
BUT yknw im alwayssss here -


i wanna hold your hand

this simple line!
miss you. till then, <3.

-


anywayyy a long expired account on the past week..

happy birthday REEraroo pls dont stay mad with me >:(
happy birthday SAMmiekins you poor decieved girl, but arent you glad all the same

:))

happy tidings during the surprise party!
blowing balloons + oily kitchen + drinks maker + fresh air + running around + changing in staircase corridors + stealing food + no money but free oreos + ALMOST leaking of news + the cousin and her tightfits + board making + ohmy the yummy food + pic taking ;; oreo ah focks, bright sparkles + the black sex songs + musical chairs to Fix You and blue black on my ass from the shoving + cabbing in the sleepy streetlights = FUN.


and many many attempts to escapades
resulting in 20cm scratch, muddy shoe (ohmy) being fetched out of school


accident-prone week
6 blue blacks, fever + flu, and the above mentioned 20cm scratch
sheesh..
how come its not mentioned in my horoscope readings!
yes fyi i do check it weekly.
haha
ok and ystd ws w phi the ultimate shopper..i was DYING of thirst, thank God for 40cents guardian mineral water. HAHA. wldve preferred our NTUC ice mountain secret though -looks at AMK kia. hahahha.


been thinking about karma alot and concluded that..


it prevails.



//EDIT 260905 mond
pops red signal
will the best friend call me pls :(

maybe its not about being alone, but feeling alone.

andand,
maybe i tried, maybe i didnt..

but being at a loss
all i want is to run to..
i dnt knw who anymore.
cos no one's at the receiving end anyway.

should i stay

:)

gp lesson
Midnight Talk
daddy's itsy sweetness
yummy food
bumping into mina (miss you!)
then bumping into don and etc.
overseas call from tinkerbell (albeit the contention this time :)
very conducive study location
nutty laughter, good times
neat hair day
waking up at 930a.m
choc! (peanut butter m&ms and ritter cornflakes anyone? :)
coldplay ; fix you


:(

completely weirded out, troubling, disturbing, awkward, uneasy afternoon and night (ystd)
sambal dishes = shitty stomach (pun! haha)
STRANGE & UNbeautiful
very erm haircut
all the 'catch up soon's from everyone
no swinging conversations with phi
sore throat
no strawberry milkshake
miscommunication with parents, or the lack thereof.
school.
I&R
promos


recently bumping into a lot of people.. like i havent seen nissa in more than half a year though she lives around me, but suddenly i saw her this morning. and etc etc. and its so coincidental tht whn i bump into people after such a long long time, im either carrying the same bag or the same tee i donned when we hung out. which is highly amazing if you dont think about the mighty embarrassing factor..its like the piecing of memory..! haha

and why why why are things this way?
tell me whyy~~
sigh feeling so crappy
time will not untie the knots i thought it would.. (this is so Twelfth Night)


Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days (years)
Making up for all this mess



oh welllll.
off to do tht I&R.

/edit
ooh. oc was so aww.
:)

coldplay

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace

...

(finally the right song, jyingzz!!)

Students increased to grand total of 7!
Beams. Okay, don't know whether to beam or freak out..
kids are a handful! >:(

Steph! Your book was very :) indeed, made my day. (not night though)

I ought to stop being cheesy and play all the sappy ballads..
Inducing the wrong emotions at the peak of my happiness today.
Right-o.
So..you really just leave me be?

i am no solution
to this sound of dispollution in me
and i was not the answer so forget if you ever thought
it was me

people are beginning to feel like balls
bouncing and bounding off me
does that make me the wall?!

and people who dont understand..
really just dont..


been Fake Studying as the Dreamy one would put it
with nana (yummy food! but did study a tad),
ree (completely jst sleeping and not pretending to study at all),
steph (ahem I studied while she read a book!?!? but yes phi im reading the book now haha and sorry for deserting you tht day again despite your protests tht all you wanted to do was go home and sleep anywayy..andand i can foresee you sleeping now..your screwed up body clock is too much..!)
and other days with jiang, charm, mat and d..


hols are ending..still not in the study mood..
so dead!
but well..
had a nice conver with Tinkerbell (i miss you! will check out a+f website yes :)
and also Midnight talks with the two Psychotic and Dreamy ones..
poddie is ready for collection today!!!! 4 days early :D :D
gonna finally study a little more.

its in the little things.


oh my God
i dont know what to do with my wardrobe..
-looks at clothes with disdain.
tings and jyingz dnt laugh at me!

im not gonna let us fall apart

have you ever felt like everything's slipping off your fingers
like you missed your chance when you could hold them tight
but just after that splitting second, its over..?

i dont want to be this wayy
but somehow i always miss the very second
being caught up in my nothingness

sooo
to all the people
im so very sorry
all your smiling faces are popping up in my head
and with a jolt i suddenly realise
im missing out so much!!!!!!!!


BOOHOO.
-sings ;; what have i done..


the best tinkerbell ever! i will email you! and finally tell you everyth thts been on my mind

stephiphi!! MONDAY MONDAY, rational bimbo! and get well soon you sickly galsxz! 2 weeks mc!!?!!? btw am very very :))))))) tht you always bother to msg me though yes sometimes im very very lazy or forget to rply :(((((((

ree+nana tmrw FINALLY!

dada AFTER PROMOS?!?! miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we mst take lotsa photos!! all tht i have of you are like, in sec3?!?!

ele girlllll. seriously, an image of your fish burger drawing appears whn i think of you. BOLD YOU SO. hpe your leg gets welly well and we both have healthy throats can finally finally sit down in macs (but they closed dwn the wisma one yknw :( and laugh at black undies / pants matching black top. haha!

hwing MISS YOU TOOOOOOO!! anw did you msg me? saw your name but accidentally deleted bfore reading. haha you! after promos! lots to tell me! +all the cj people..don, jolene, etc etc sighsigh.

and maybe when we're 80 we'll sit around with ralph lauren pillows laugh about how we had bumps in our early years and brushed off our conflicts cos we wouldve overcome them.


realise this entry is uber psychotic and full of rambles
but yes, hit by sudden realisation
and my books too!
im sorry ive been ignoring you or pretending to read you! i will..try tmrw!


and all who were there / are here / whatever, am very :) !
hehh.
<3

im away from the world's empathy

recently been feeling like ive been wasting my time
going places, saying words, doing things im not entirely keen about..
but everything's making a turn for the worse all of a sudden,
i dont know what to make of it..

sigh.
weary and wary again.
i swear, all the gradual revelations are driving me up the wall.
cant things just be simple and fathomable for once..


today's just an awfully unsuccessful attempt to study AGAIN..
and well, a lot of minds whirring like running tracks.


promos are up and coming :(

my poddie's gone. i hope they recycle and not crush it!! poor baby..
the replacement will only be ready 2 weeks from now..
what am i to do without it?!??!!


had sore eyes ystd..
walking around half blind and uncomfortably.
after being so used to having a layer of contact lens in my eyes,
feel so sleepy without them all day and night..
they uncannily keep me more awake..

was an attempt to shop and everything..
in the end was a bit productive! :)
and and dinner was nice!! suki = new hangout place. hahah
going gaga over kids clothes, trying on nightie spag straps (looking so sick and porn-ish!), talking and talking and talking and..

late night talks are the best.
i so miss them. -looks at tings pointedly. I MISS YOU and your huang shang'r-ness! (though you wouldnt believe it :(

wting thrs so much i wnt to tell you but i dnt knw how and cant.. :( :( but yknw youre the loveliesttttttttt. will mail you again soon. hope all's :) over there! have some unbelievable news to tell you. i can imagine your jaw dropping..sigh. i miss just swinging by your place or leaving st nicks in the aftnn for crystal jade or fish and co pls..the simplicity of things then..


the sweetest things always come with daunting omens to wreck things up.
doesnt it just make you wonder what can we actually believe in??


rahh.
gp essay.

hmrpf!!!!
feel like just throwing everything aside and screaming i dont careeeeeeeee!
weirdly angstygalsxz. must be pms..

take the plunge

study population in gardens burgeoning..
hard finding a non smoky and warm spot!
excessive eating = indigestion, and
nauseaus (sp?) stomach doesnt go well with swinging the night away
but it was all very :)

studying.

ugh.

omg discovery of studious boiz very worrying
unstrike studying!

studying.

there!


..but maybe its not that.

we keep saying forever.


I dig my toes into the sand.
The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket.
I lean against the wind, pretend that i am weightless and in this moment i am happy.

I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here.

I lay my head onto the sand.
The sky resembles a backlit canopy with holes punched in it.
I'm counting ufo's.
I signal them with my lighter
and in this moment i am happy, happy.

The world's a roller coaster and I am not strapped in.
Maybe I should hold with care, but my hands are busy in the air.


HUANG WEITING you erpipi i miss you!!

never had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb

HAHA. today was damn funny +UNPRODUCTIVE
but quite :) caught up with psycho galz. finally ripping plastic cover off her zen..haha

my poor poddie's sick :(
worsening critical condition!
sigh.

was so fucking pissed just now,
comp is a stupid screwed up asshole!!
treating me like this at the wee hours in the morning!
cant believe i spent FIVE hours
doing gp proj and pw.
finally off to sleep now.


sigh.

-sings to myself. you're in the middle it'll up the ride..

sigh.
some people..
disappointing.


excessive sighs.

oh, and miss huang weiting rply my mail! miss you.

speechless >>

so,
what ive wanted to say is that..
maybe i got it wrong buttttt
the point is there is more to what you think the situation is like
but i dont know what / how to say it so........
yea.

haha.

today was quite an angsty day filled with pent up frustrations!
BUT it'll be okayy -singsong tone (whips out handkerchief and starts singing and dancing to j.tsai ._. -looks at sammiekins.)
..i hope

-


TINGS, I MISS AND <3 YOU SO!!!!!!! where art thou, my tinkerbelle!?! sorry about sunday btw.. :( -you are my centrestage. (ahem, jap surname boy?) haha and i need to tell you about disappearing and fading dinohair. sigh. stressed about upcoming promos but not doing anything much about it still :( how is it in L.A? and and CHECK YOUR MAIL! wish i could barge into your room again when im having a bad day or feel like giving you a surprise.. :(

my own perfect drama,
my own scripted page

the cough bug (flu bug, cough bug??) is definitely in the air..especially when a group of 5 sick gluttons who are constantly spreading their germs to each other. circular pattern thats never ending ._.

throat was hurting badly, and eyes grew red and bloodshot!
overly heaty, i suppose.
and jiang HAD to buy curly fries at mac's ._.
btw i didnt knw about mac's new innovation (to remain the dominating firm in the contestable market, no less. okay attempt to apply econ skills) till today!

and randomly, i love m&m's peanut butter! loyally patronising fruit drink stall in school to buy it. haha jiang's imported peaches were VERY good too! - awed exchange with sam. haha


got lotsa work to do! but still being completely slothy :((((
aye, makes me wonder why A Certain Person happily skipped school for almost an entire week..sick? bad bad haircut? the result of all these dont seem to bear any relation..

oh oh,
ystd ws quite funny..jumping up and down and pretending to run, all for the sake of trying out new functions in my phone and nette's digi cam. and the si ma guang + fei fei sents us into peals or laughter..

alrightyy dozing off in front of the comp alr..the medicine is taking drowsy effect on me..nightyy! :)


and and tings i miss you too!!! rplied your mail alr. fast and furious haha. bet youre in dreamland now! <3


this is a very random entry, but too sleepy for anything..

scent of sweetness

sudden craving for late mornings + coffeebean breakfast + random walking + borders + evening talks + swinging in the wind and the list goes on ..
too bad, stuck in school
and also, the ingredients are missing.

phone looks increasingly lovable,
at least.
though sadly spore pok-ly didnt have it in white.
:((
shall get over it..

so now im home superbly early
the shades are still drawn, no one's at home! gasp.
dont intend to draw them.
shall be contented with strawberry + oc reruns.


did i mention everything's missing?

if im caught in the middle,
i know it will be
the end of me.


so there i was, in the mood to indulge, spending an hour typing ths completely random but at the same time relevant mail to tinks when i decided to attach photos but somehow i cancelled the process AND the whole thing just poof, disappeared! thanks ah. the screen now reads New Message. oh my goodness gracious me. i was just staring at the screen in disbelief till i decided to rant. hotmail, why are you doing this to me!!?!?!!? tell me why~

tinks if youre reading this, im so hopping mad!! sorry, shall try to re-mail you again >:( so much nonsense to tell you. miss miss miss you.



:(:

\read it left or right ward.

so anyway.
today i forgot to bring pinkie b.
forebodes a baddd day
BUT
2.4 was (more than) pretty aight :D :D
thanks jiang!
we met up with ree
were happily chatting away over lunch
and shopped a bit
but all of a sudden
were just unanimously overtaken by weariness..
nvm, meet up soon again!
imy, peasant aj.
hahah.


weary and wary is right.

cant believe hotmail's down.

And our flares go unnoticed.
Dimminished, faded just as soon as they are fired.

We are, we are, intrigued. We are, we are, invisible.

Oh, how we've shouted, how we've screamed, take notice, take interest, take me with you.


So denied
So I lied
Are you the now or never kind
In a day
And a day love
I'm gonna be gone for good again

Here's a toast
To all thoose who hear me all too well

Here's to the nights
We felt alive
Here's to the tears
You knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon

Put your name
On the line
Along with place and time
Wanna stay
Not to go
I wanna ditch the logical



completely worn out today!
school was a waste of time.
hours of dazed UNentertainment in the sweltering heat -.-
till it rained and i could watch the pitter and patter, that is.
:)


you kick up the leaves
and the magic is gone


goodness me,
last night there very disturbing gathering going on at the field near my place..
sounded like Patricia Mok screaming her lungs out
prolly a mini Nat Day celebration
sweet, but maybe they shldnt be shrieking away like that all the time :|


you tell me your blue sky's faded to grey


happy 40th independence, Singapore :)
my little country that i constantly whine about but secretly feel loyal to..


happy indepedence to me too, all over again..
but i know we wont be left alone ; theres you and me!
and i think i know what its gonna be like, once again,
and im sorry for allowing the green J to consume me inside out and all the nonsense
but yknw i will miss and love you!
big hug please
thanks for making it easier
:))


(resizing = weird grainy and squarey faces)




you said you need a blue sky holiday


I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up...

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess



HAH. apparently the school's principal mailed everyones parents..huge commotion :|
mummy was rather amused (she recieved sms since i didnt report her email..not like she checks her mail anyway) and the parents were rather appalled by my ugly 'henna' at the back of my knee joint .. haha its a purple blue bruise obtained from what, i have yet been able to recall, but its prolly from floorball. hope it goes away soon! dont want sticky band aids!



coffee beaned at gardens (maju) with charm, sam and their friend shena (sp?)
not pdtive at all! haha
was jst feeling sleepy then awakened by .. jolting news.
mhrm.
went to town to mt jiang
and and finally bought the bag ive been searching for
:D :D

purple crumpler was quite a mistake..
giving me a neckache and headache ._.

you sing a sad song just to turn it around.


as you can tell, im just rambling.


you say what you like,
and how does it feel,
one more time.

rightt..
off, got truckloads of work to do.

purple poodle doodle.

had tuition then met steph..
random tired day.
shopping was unproductive (do nice bags actually exist?? im looking at all the bags i own and -wrinkles nose. theres only word to describe them : GROSS. queer taste i had + acted on impulse = complete waste of money + living in blissful ignorance that i ought to be abashed of.), as was tuition.
starving like a marykate.
(no offence, i actually do like her. just randomly thought of the similie.)


far east has transformed into a nightmare zone after not patronising the area for quite sometime..
freaky deaky.


was still wondering about certain enigmatic characters that i know of when it suddenly led to me to another train of thought .. why on earth do i bother trying to figure these people out when i myself ..?! nonsense.

had a nice talk on msn ystd :)
and yes,
when you end up lost,
the odds are, you lost yourself,
not your environment, not your friends, not changes.
hrm.


feel like buying some nice smelling shampoo
will prolly remind me of tings and her passion fruit,
nights of sleepover and
morning after.
:)


trying to get it all back.
miss lots of people..!


tutoring tmrw. yucks.
why isnt national day on a sunday?!

american hi fi ; another perfect day

dashboard conf;
several ways to die trying


IM COMPLETELY TRAUMATISED BY MY OWN DISTURBING BEHAVIOUR!!
last week i stupidly attempted to cut my own fringe and and
the outcome is horrible..!
now i look like a pri sch kid!!!!!
ahh! after years of trying to look less kiddy,
my itchy fingers snipped it all awayyy!
great.
hrmpf.
so please do not laugh if i look shockingly weird..
im upset enough alr..
:((((


+ embarassing bimbotic encounters..
i.e shouting hi to yiqin but it turned out sounding more like a shriek and apparently my whole class heard, looking at me in appall

and fell over my own feet out of the blue while stoning because i was subconsciously twisting my ankle a little too much (habit)

and and tumbling about in a jerky double decker bus while attempting to descend the stairs..and practically the entire upper deck was my sch people, privy to charm + my weird noises..


-.-"


and tdy elleteejay was being SO EXTREMELY NICE!
-rolls eyes.
inner battle + complete fear = evasion
except that we can evade no longer..
tsk, highly annoyed.


++ undelivered, empty promises..


hrm.
ws a bad+boring day..
till..floorball!! fun!!
though we were all complete amateurs
looking very retarded, whacking at the ball in any way we want to (ok maybe it ws just me)
but! it was highly enthralling and exciting!
:D :D
lost the last match cos the ball erm went up my shorts from below, somehow..and was too -raises eyebrows- to react!
oh well.
still, i like! :)


//EDIT
jst found out smth (again)
and im really just wondering (like every other day)
why does it seem like people are interested in making as many friends as possible, socialising at the utmost, pretending to like you when they dont really do, judging you by how you look like, not bothering / wanting at all to really know you but beaming at you and forging a friendship with you when they have secret thoughts that you dont know about.

labelling you as a bimbo, for example, just because you flail and scream about a lot (NOT LIKE I CAN HELP IT OKAY and stop pretending its only a joke. not gonna believe anything anyone says anymore.)
cant help it, being born without a pretty face or whatever.

completely disgusted and disturbed by all these people around me.

its really freaky how you dont know about all the secret thoughts people are habouring, your untold stories suddenly leaking out to the rest of the world flippantly.
if theres any good out of it,
its to learn never to believe in people easily.
they just let you down overnight.
to think i stood up for people i thought i knew, i thought were my friends.
hello?!?!??!
is this what the world is like?
i know it is, but the superficiality seems exceedingly extreme at my side of the world..
overwhelming disappointment in people i realise i dont even know / dont even know me.
oscillating from anger to sadness to disgust.
all the bad vibes
just keep evolving.

ascending this lone path



sportygalz + yz;
jiang in yellow, charm in green, sam in colourful white, yz in white, nette in brown, im in pink.

rapture;
(from left) yz, sam, charm, nette, me, mlene


love you funny people :)




(from top left) charm + i, silly hwing being retarded (haha! MISS YOU!), sam's funny photo! and charm happily showing off (pls dont kill me) and ree being reetarded hahas.






esp for stephiphi i <3 you so :)
(fret not about your ridiculous hair which i strongly opposed to!?!?! announcement : it has grown!)



(click on photos to enlarge)


completely in photo mood..
shall have more when more recent ones are readyy.



//EDIT.
sudden oscillating emotional transformation from all that cheery pic up there, i know.
but i feel so empty.
its always nice to be subtly assured that you still matter, but when youre completely denied that assurance..
something has changed,
and whats worse is that i dont know what.
was it my fault..


UGH.
completely lagging in schoolwork + wayy to slothy.
this is called demand without the ability and willingness to pay in economic terms
psychogalz.


am off to brood to myself.
the best friend is away.
sobs :(
(quite literally)

ascending this lone path



sportygalz + yz;
jiang in yellow, charm in green, sam in colourful white, yz in white, nette in brown, im in pink.

rapture;
(from left) yz, sam, charm, nette, me, mlene





(from top left) charm + i, silly hwing being retarded (haha!), sam's funny photo! and charm happily showing off (pls dont kill me) and ree being reetarded hahas.






esp for stephiphi i <3 you so :)



(click to enlarge)


completely in photo mood..
shall have more when more recent ones are readyy.

maybe that's what it takes

my tinkerbell has gone to msia..
no drinking and shopping sesh (running from freaky policeman hollering at us and seeking refuge in ralph lauren because we jaywalked .. chut chut ness .. the perfect tyk lookalike RL/Lacoste folded sleeves top .. niu'er ness .. hahah) in the near future..or watching freaky jap / thai / korean shows and traumatise ourselves (sin city is too much, ms huang weiting and chan fei ju) .. or our constant discussions about certain worries .. or hanging out at yin sum sum's place, lying around talking or sitting by crazy suicical windows. all that indescribable happiness, peacefulness and laughter :) will be much missed, theres no one else like you.. :((((((

>>
bic runga - sway
coldplay - speed of sound
nada surf - if you leave
dishwalla - angels or devils
my chemical romance = helena
martina mcbride - valentine
jay zz - qi li xiang

:(


met nette, jiang and yz after tuition SORRY I WAS LATE, haha. major laughing sesh, stomach aching!! + all that muscle ache from bursting sportyness recently (5 items + tennis & jogging w charm hammie! ++TRAINING EVERYDAY hahahhaha. not literally la. inside joke) = dying and tired galzsx. haha although it was an awfully unlucky day (tasteless Pastamania .. why??? + highly unsuccessful neoprint attempts .. tell me whyyy~) hahah ah liansx ness.


ystd maju malled with stephiphi! :) -does that nod head mrm thing. hahah imy! v sleepy though. exchanged ipods with her..secretly~ think some of her songs qt nice haha. now i know what its like to have 3 poddie colours! pink (mine) green (tings') and blue (phi's) ! hrm, lame.


thurs was with nic..the island was vvv good! two thumbs up!


aloha,
florida!
haha
yet another inside joke..
thinking about all that we were laughing about just now
hahaha


ahem, interesting news abt d.h the past few days,
haha!


tired! tutoring tmrw
>:(((((((((((



when traumatising stuff is happening all around us (be it circle of friends or around the world), being at a loss foils and hinders any ability to help.. or is it?


-


cant stand some lame shite in school..
refuse to bother / engage myself at all.


ugh. completely lagging in schoolwork :((((


nightnight.

dont pretend youre sorry
i know youre not

im waiting, waiting, waitingggg.
and trying not to think about how it gets to me
the way you sometimes blatantly just
forget and expect.
but i know you,
AND i love you :)
miss my tinkerbell.


(the heading holds no bearing to my post, please! in case of misinterpretations.. ._.)


rapture dancers were wow!

though i secretly (okay openly now) thought it was a rather boring affair..
apart from erm, Night Life (according to nette) later in the night with nette and xyz..funny galz, hahah

and and finally catching up w da!
wtfk. ;)
reminscing sec3 days.
theres a difference with people you click on almost right away and can trust
and people you have to try so hard with..
and phi is right,
We shouldnt have to try so hard.
(btw steph imissyou larhh! friday is a longggg time away..)


wellll.
im off to watch wicker park with jiejie
till then,
still waiting..


EDIT //
did the jobfinder thing at karina's blog after reading about jiang's very apt job titles..and i got a tadahh shoplifter as my ideal job ._.
HOWEVER, upon entering my full name albeit the IC way, with my surname first (holding my breath with dread as anyone who knows me knows my full name is actually pretty gross..) BUT ALAS! the true me ought to be a Princess!
HAHAH.
shoplifter, my ass.
okay lame..
shall watch wicker park now now..
the only reason why my sis isnt complaining is because shes still blissfully massaging her legs with the osim thing..

anna nalick ; forever love


hrm. when i was supposed to be online i was asleep and now that im online, everyone is asleep :(


ystd was International Friendship (problems) Day
wellllll.


never wanted things to turn out this way,
never thought they would..


anywayyy i swear ystd we walked a million miles away from sch! haha okayy we walked all the way to queensway and got completely worn out (but according to soccergalzz jiang, this is nothing!) ._.


and why is it that after my 2.4, my entire body (ie limbs, arms, back, neck, tummy etc.) aches?!?! imagine how i ran! queerdo..


rapture ltr..not really interested in it actually haha but heard its supposed to be fabulous. andand, im meeting dadeedoo! :D :D been SUCH a long time.


if you leave, dont leave now
please dont take my heart away

we never had time on our sides
and now its fading fast


charmie hammie sorry again for not going! and congrats! :)

jyingzz what word vomit??